Hold Onto Your Butts!


I live at the beach.  Well technically a half-mile from the beach, but I can see the ocean from my house and I get the beach weather here.  As somebody born in Flatbush, Brooklyn in 1957 I know how lucky I am to live where I do.  I count my blessings every day and I try to give back.

Photo courtesy of Palos Verdes Daily Photo Blog. Photo by Tash

So I’m a member of Surfrider and Heal the Bay, and I try to never miss our annual beach clean up days. And I don’t limit my beach trash pick up to just those days either.

Every year that I have participated in those Torrance beach clean up days, and whenever I walk the beach throughout the year, the one type of trash I pick up more than any other is cigarette butts.  It’s not just the beach either.  I picked up hundreds of cigarette butts in Old Town Torrance when I joined the Old Town Torrance Neighborhood Association in their neighborhood clean up in January of this year.

Moron Smoker art courtesy of Adam Rosette's Blog (check it out)
Moron Smoker art courtesy of Adam Rosette's Blog (check it out)

Cigarette smokers are morons to begin with – I should know I once smoked a pack a day and when I did I was dumber than a bag of hammers – so it’s no big surprise that they’re stupid enough to consider the whole world their ashtray.

Since these helpless addicts are too hopped up on nicotine and tar to do the right thing we need laws to stop them and punish them when they don’t. Clearly nicotine’s effect on the brain causes logic and intelligent reasoning to go all Bernie Madoff on smokers so we need to regulate their behavior for them.

SB 4  is the No Smoking at State Parks and Beaches Act and we need it.  It bans cigarette smoking at state beaches and parks.  If I had my way we’d fly Hellfire missile equipped Predator drones over the beaches and just stop the smokers on the spot.  But Senator Jenny Oropeza is taking a more reasonable approach that includes $250 fines for violators.  Maybe that’s why Jenny keeps getting reelected.

But SB4 isn’t going to get turned into law unless we let our California legislators know we’re not going to put up with this anymore.  So click on the Surfrider graphic above and use their handy dandy two minute form to send Sacramento a shoutout.

The older I get the harder it is to bend over and pick up other people’s smelly butts.  And I shouldn’t have to.  It’s time we kicked some butts instead.

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