At 9am on Tuesday morning this week I stood with Los Angeles Mayor, Eric Garcetti, members of the L.A. City Council, board members of the Los Angeles Department of Water and Power Commission and long term colleagues from the climate justice action community to be part of a historic announcement.
Just like in the movies, days of rain suddenly ended as if Moses had parted the Atmospheric River, and the California sunshine spotlighted our snow-kissed mountains in high def.
Only two days earlier I had been at a meeting to plan our response and action if Garcetti were to choose to repower the plants to burn more gas for the next 30-40 years.
But then on Monday afternoon word started to stream through that the Mayor was embracing the Green New Deal for Los Angeles and would announce there would be no gas repower. Garcetti was ready for clean power NOW.
What was to be a protest rally and action suddenly turned into a green victory celebration. Instead of being there as opponents, the Mayor invited environmentalists to stand with him in support.
Nobody knows what the fuck “Techron” is but everyone knows exactly what “Chevron Sucks!” means. It means the same thing as “Celtics Suck!” or “Boston Sucks!” and there is no worse insult a Lakers fan can give an evil villain.
That’s why I’ve been letting everyone know for the past 10 years, at every Lakers game I attend, that “Chevron Sucks!” And that’s why I’ve been lobbying the Lakers for just as long to drop the climate wrecking oil company as a corporate partner.
And now they have!
I worked for years to help redefine Chevron’s role at solar-powered Staples Center as part of Chevron’s every home game promotion aimed at children. They got kids to cheer for their cartoon toy car race, but I got them to laugh at Chevron sucking.
Even though my bit is funny, Chevron is one of the biggest polluters and destroyers of a livable climate on planet Earth, and they’ve acted like a classic crime organization.
Chevron spreads money around local organizations, community annual events, local sports teams and everyone else they can pay to ignore what a dirty, filthy, toxic, health destroying business Chevron is in. That’s why –
Was it my publicly pissing in Chevron’s promotion pool every home game that got them to withdraw? Was it the letters I sent the Lakers asking them to drop the partner that didn’t meet the team’s own high standards and values?
No one wants to say officially.
But one thing’s for sure. The Lakers have upped their game in the Magic-LeBron era and only the best will do now. That’s why I’m a season ticket holder.
That’s right. I’m in, but since Chevron sucks, they’re out.
Now it’s time they got out of El Segundo and liquidated their assets to pay for the damage they’ve done. I’ll get them to do that too. Maybe we’ll have the post Trump government nationalize all the oil companies.
But meanwhile I’m going to enjoy the new green, clean Showtime Lakers.
When Chevron, or Phillips 66, or ExxonMobil or E&B oil companies give schools and nonprofits funding money they do it for one reason only.
To pay them to shut up.
You can fool yourself if you want to, but you can’t fool your kids, because in the end they will know their school, or that nonprofit pretending to be teaching kids about the environment, sold them out. Sold them out to the very oil companies who are destroying their chance of having a decent future.
And they will damn sure remember who went along for the ride to get that oil company money. Read more
It all started with the video. It was sent to me last Thursday via email. A YouTube link from someone calling themself Primrose Evergreen.
The email said “We made this video. We want 2 talk 2 U. If U want 2 talk w/us B sitting on the 9/11 bench @ Pier & Valley/Ardmore @ 11:15 PM. Thanksgiving. No phones. No cameras. No recording devices.“
Debra didn’t want me to go and I will admit I was tired from too much food and too much drink. I will admit that may have impaired my better judgment. I told her I was pretty sure it was just a prank and I’d be back within the hour.
So at 11:05 PM I parked my EV at Hermosa Beach City Hall, plugged it into the free charger and strolled over to the button-covered bench on the greenbelt.
At exactly at 11:15 on the nose, a Honda Odyssey minivan pulled to a stop in front of me – the side door opened and a young voice belonging to someone inside said, “Put this on, and get inside.” – a hand reached out of the backseat holding a Trader Joe’s shopping bag.
We have to get the money from somewhere,” say parents.
“And there were no strings attached. Since we’re using the money for drug prevention we don’t think this is hypocritical at all. We still tell our kids that drugs are bad and to stay off them. You tell us – if we don’t take the money from them where else are we going to get it? The Cartel is making billions, at least the money they give us is going towards something good for our kids.”
One of the middle schoolers just shrugged when asked if he thought the drug cartel giving their school the money for the drug diversion program was helping or hurting.
They must be helping since they’re paying for the DARE program and our summer skateboard camp too. I don’t think our parents would bring them into our schools to help if they were the bad drug people or doing things that hurt us.”
A spokesperson from the Drug Cartel said they were proud to help the community, especially kids and their education.
We’ve been doing business in these local South Bay cities for a very long time now and it’s our pleasure to give back. Many of our top cartel executives and managers live and work here. It’s our community too you know.
We have to thank our colleagues at Chevron and Exxon for setting the successful model for this kind of community support in the South Bay. We knew if local parents would embrace the biggest polluter and destroyer of the climate as their respected and honored partners with the schools, they’d have no problem with us and what we do. We’re very pleased to use our profits here this way. After all, we wouldn’t have had another recored year without the help of moms and dads from El Segundo to the Peninsula.”
Why would your Creative Greenius walk away from his high-paying, highly rewarding executive role at CBS EcoMedia where I was working to fund environmental, education, and wellness projects all across the USA, just as the company hit more growth milestones and was likely to pay generous bonuses?
And so it is that I resigned from my position as Director of Strategic Partnerships and Public Affairs for CBS EcoMedia effective the first of this month and I will now be devoting my full time to working on climate change response with the South Bay 350 Climate Action Group, the South Bay Bicycle Coalition and 350.org
I had no other choice once I did The Math and saw what things add up to – and how little time we have left before the global temperature goes past the Game Over limit of 2°C.
How do you like me now South Bay spewers of greenhouse gases? Yeah, I’m talking to you Exxon/Mobil mercenaries who work at the Torrance refinery and you amoral assassins who get your blood money from the Chevron refinery in El Segundo.
Now the EPA is about to smack both of you upside the head – and these are only the opening smacks you both have coming. Good thing you wear those hardhats. Maybe you should have spread some of your slush fund bribe money around to the schools and libraries in Washington DC where the EPA holds it meetings instead of trying to buy your love here from desperate parents and city councils in the South Bay. Read more
Professional ball stroker, Eldrick Tont Woods, who goes by the alias “Tiger” broke down in tears and heaving sobs yesterday afternoon when the Greenius sat down with him for an exclusive interview. In order to secure the chat I had to agree not to feature any current photos of him or talk about how puffy and scratched up his face was. Read more