Ten Things President Obama Needs You To Know Right Now

chicagoskylineWhile the rest of America has been transfixed by the spiraling, ever-worsening economic crisis, the auto industry bailout and the Obama transition team leaks about Hillary Clinton and John McCain’s new roles in the Administration, I’ve been in Chicago engrossed in meetings with people I promised I’d never admit having met with.  So lets just say I went for the blues and the BBQ.

music_bluesAlong with the pulled pork I enjoyed finding out that these Chicago guys are smart enough to know what’s really going on out there and sharp enough to know they’ve got to get the rest of the country up to speed before January 20th rolls around.

It’s not like they gave me any secret briefing information or anything.  And it’s not like they told me what to write – not in so many words anyway.  But if you’d like to help the President hit the ground running – and be able to keep up with him along the way – here’s what you need to know.

Angry McCain Wants To Kill You – If That’s What It Takes To Make America Great Again

A furiously venom-filled John McCain angrily admitted to this blogger in a just-finished phone interview that he has been in a state of unstoppable rage that has kept him terminally pissed off at the United States of America ever since we chose to end the Vietnam war.  “You’re damn right I am, you little jerk,” he said.

Before I could even respond he exploded again like Yosemite Sam.  “You’re ALL a bunch of little jerks!” he screeched out to me on my VOIP line,” all you word happy blah-blah-bloogers – especially you environmentalists.” He spat out the word as if talking about a pedophile, but I could sense he was using air quotes at the other end.

“Unrepentent” Bomber McCain Spent Years in Prison. “I’d Do It Again” Says Senator

What if the same Republicans who ran both of George Bush’s campaigns and who are now in charge of John McCain’s campaign were working for the Democrats – ANY Democrat – and running against John McCain as the opposing candidate?  What kind of press releases, surrogate talking points and commercials would we be seeing then?

Shove That Coal Back In Its Hole – The Greenius Goes Solar

I’ve had it.  Your Creative Greenius has reached his tipping point.

The more I learn about the latest news on climate change and how much time we really have left to do anything about it, the more I feel like like the late Italian political theorist, Antonio Gramsci, who wrote in his Gramsci: Letters from Prison,

I’m a pessimist because of intelligence,but an optimist because of will.”

And it is that will that makes me declare that enough is enough, damn it.  New evidence is presented every single day of the weekit’s time to act decisively now.  But we are not living in sane times.  We are living in the Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs era. that would convince any sane person that

With greenhouse gases pouring into the skies and building up faster than the deficit with each passing day; with the price of coalelectric rates soaring up up up across the country; and with sell-out lizard brain politicians pimping oil as they croak out, “Drill here! Drill now!  Hell, drill my wife if it means I’ll get your vote!”; the Greenius is taking matters into his own hands and going solar.

I can’t wait any longer.  It’s either go solar, or go postal and believe me, nobody wants a Rambo Greenius.  I’m dangerous enough with a broom in my hands.

Clean Coal, Healthy Cancer & Evil Jesus – Did I Mention Safe Green Nuclear?

In an attempt to locate “the good old days” I went back in the Creative Greenius time machine yesterday, but I could only afford enough gas to get us to January of 2008.  It seems like so long ago, doesn’t it?  We all looked so much younger then… when the Botox prices were still affordable.  Back in January, “the problems in Georgia” were still about Michael Vick and dog fighting; Hillary Clinton and John Edwards each still thought they’d be the next President; while John McCain was trying to decide between Polident or Fixodent.  I could wax nostalgic for January all post long… but I digress.

DRILLING US TO DEATH: “Welcome To The Gas Chamber,” Says The Man Who Knows

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.”  —  Hunter S. Thompson

Times have never been weirder here in the land of your Creative Greenius where even the 99 Cent Stores cannot buck the psychological impacts of this virtual recession being experienced by avatars everywhere.  Earthquakes, fires, budget deficits and Real Estate that isn’t quite so “real” anymore and no longer feels like any kind of “estate” has harshed our mellow here in the Golden State.

It’s times like these when I invite The Man Who Knows over for a visit.  I don’t really want to see him when everything is copacetic because part of what makes the good times so good is not having The Man Who Knows around telling you what you don’t want to hear.

But today’s weirdness calls for some simple truths and The Man Who Knows wasted no time in laying them on me as he lay on my couch.

Funniest. Candidate. Ever. McComedian In The House

If you know the Creative Greenius then you know how much I like to laugh and how I crave a clever comedy.

From The Daily Show to 30 Rock to The Simpsons to anything Albert or James L. Brooks do, I like me some laughs.  

In fact I need me some laughs – especially when so much of what I learn every day about climate change and how much worse it gets with each passing 24 hours adds up to us being as doomed as doomed can be.

But thank God for John Maverick McCain, who refuses to be worried about the serious facts and goes for the funny bone every chance he gets.

In a world of bad news and inconvenient truths the good old Straight Talk Express is still chugging along like a coal-fired comedy choo-choo making us all laugh out loud.