“If we prepare for climate change by building a clean-power economy, but climate change turns out to be a hoax, what would be the result? Well, during a transition period, we would have higher energy prices. But gradually we would be driving battery-powered electric cars and powering more and more of our homes and factories with wind, solar, nuclear and second-generation biofuels. We would be much less dependent on oil dictators who have drawn a bull’s-eye on our backs; our trade deficit would improve; the dollar would strengthen; and the air we breathe would be cleaner. In short, as a country, we would be stronger, more innovative and more energy independent.
But if we don’t prepare, and climate change turns out to be real, life on this planet could become a living hell.”
FOLLOW ME IF YOU WANT TO LIVE
As our planet’s atmosphere overheats because the greenhouse gas firewall we’ve built by burning fossil fuels works so damn well, there is one secret weapon we can all still whip out if we want to fight back and try to save ourselves from frying.
It’s not sexy and it doesn’t make a bunch of old school, balding, white, male, carbon collaborators stinking filthy rich, so it’s no wonder they’ve done every evil and despicable thing in their power to keep this weapon from being aimed at them.
But nothing can stop the Creative Greenius, the most Powerful Man in America, and now I am going to put this same secret weapon in your hands and together we are going to use it to destroy the carbon-based economy and create a new, stronger, more American green economy in its place. Won’t that be fun?!
And the people who are going to try to stop us will be decimated along with their evil, hell-based philosophy, the one they’ve been spewing without fear of justice – until now. But now justice is going to come down upon them like the mighty Thor’s hammer, except we’re going to add a little squeak toy noise at the end just before we clobber them – you know, for the kids…
So come on along with me now to my clandestine and ultra sophisticated weapons laboratory and discover how to arm yourselves…